


so precious to me

by CyrusBreeze



Series: Baby of Mine [4]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Gen, Letters, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 12:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrusBreeze/pseuds/CyrusBreeze
Summary: “You ever wonder about your biological parents?” Peter asked.“Only every day,” Ned answered. “Why? Did something happen?”Peter shrugged. “It’s just been really weighing on me lately. I mean, especially after my uncle,” Peter trailed off, returning his focus back to the screen. “I just want to know where I came from, and why my dad decided to give me up.”





	so precious to me

**Author's Note:**

> Alright folks, I’m not gonna lie, compared to the rest of this series, this segment is kinda boring. But bear with me, because next up, we will be exploring the events of SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING. 
> 
> It will be angsty hell. I can promise that. 
> 
> This chapter is unbeta’d so if there’s any glaring mistakes, let me know. 
> 
> Also, Peter's Research is a combination of taking with adoptees in irl and on the internet as well as reading the stories of adoptees on the internet and in novels. 
> 
> That said, I do not claim to portray an accurate, one size fits all narrative of adoptee feelings. 
> 
> Content Notes: discussion of adoption from an adoptee’s point of view

Peter Benjamin Parker met his biological father for the first time when he was six years old. It was the day of his parent’s funeral and he didn’t remember much. 

His biological father had requested a closed adoption, so Peter was only given non identifying information about the man who had birthed him. It felt weird saying that, but Peter had gotten used to it over the years. His biological father was transgender. 

Peter didn’t remember who his biological father was. In fact, the only thing he remembered were his father’s eyes. It had been like seeing himself in the mirror. Both his mom and Dad had colored eyes, and Peter’s were a deep brown. His father had had the same eyes. 

Peter sighed as he stared at the adoption paperwork once again. 

He had been given non identifying information. His biological father, the one that gave birth to him, was a student at MIT, and his other father attended Berklee. His other father had been uninvolved in the pregnancy and relinquishment. And that was the extent of information that he had been given. Of course, he had what his parents had told him, which didn’t give any more details than the non identifying information. His parents had his biological father’s email address, but Peter wasn’t allowed to see the emails, per his biological father’s request, and the correspondence died with his parents. 

Peter had spent most of his free time searching MIT’s archives, trying to find his birth father, but there were so many variables. For one, the MIT yearbook pictures were in black and white, and furthermore, there were thousands of them, including graduate and undergrad students. Not to mention, his father could have elected not to be in the yearbook at all, making things all the more difficult. 

Even now, as he clicked through the pages of an old yearbook, he was frustrated. 

“Hey,” Peter whispered, tapping on Ned’s shoulder. After all, they were in computer lab, and they were supposed to be working in websites. Peter had already finished his. It was shitty, but it would land him at least a B. 

“Yes,” Ned whispered back. 

“You ever wonder about your biological parents?” Peter asked. 

“Only every day,” Ned answered. “Why? Did something happen?” 

Peter shrugged. “It’s just been really weighing on me lately. I mean, especially after my uncle,” Peter trailed off, returning his focus back to the screen. “I just want to know where I came from, and why my dad decided to give me up.”

“I mean, my mom left me at a fire station,” Ned agreed. “I want to know why. My moms bought me one of those ancestry kits but I’m too afraid to use it. What if I find my biological mother or father and they’re horrible people?” 

“Then I guess you know,” Peter said. “I just kinda wonder what my dad would think about everything I’m doing right now.” He, of course, meant the fact that he was running around Queens in spandex pajamas, but he couldn’t tell Ned that. 

“He’d probably be proud,” Ned said. “Like all parents are.” 

“I wonder if I have siblings,” Peter uttered. 

“Trust me,” Ned chuckled. “They’re not all they’re cracked up to be. Ellie is annoying and Everett cries too much, because he’s a baby, y’know.” 

Peter smiled at his best friend. “I guess I’m just curious,” He said thoughtfully.

Ned smiled back at him. “I’m curious too, everyday,” Ned said. “All of the time.” 

“Mr. Leeds, Mr. Parker, I hope the two of you are making a productive use of this class period and I suggest you get back to work,” Mrs. Young called out. 

“Yes ma’am,” both boys answered in unison, and the two of them returned to their activities. 

-X- 

“Did my parents ever tell you anything about my biological parents?” Peter asked his aunt a week later as he shoveled in another forkful of lasagna. 

His aunt shifted her head and stared at him curiously. “They didn’t tell me very much. They said that they met with an expecting parent one day, and then two weeks later they had you. It was all very quick. Of course, they had been on the waiting list for years. Ben and I were only dating at that point, so I didn’t get the full story.” 

Peter sighed, and then he placed his fork down. 

“What brought on the sudden curiosity?” May asked.

“I guess I really want to know where I came from,” Peter answered. “Ned and I looked it up, and adoptees can’t access their original birth certificates in New York. I’d have to pay out the ass for a private investigator, which means I couldn’t do anything until I graduated at least.” 

“You have some money left over from you parents that you can access when you’re eighteen,” May offered. 

“I know,” Peter said. “But it seems wrong to use my parents’s money to look for my biological dad.” 

“Well, you could start saving up money now,” May suggested. 

Peter sighed. “It doesn’t matter,” he said suddenly, because he felt bad stressing Aunt May over this, especially after the death of her husband just six months ago. 

May smiled sympathetically at him. “Whatever you do, I’ll support you all the way, Peter. I’m proud of you.” 

Peter blushed. She was laying it on thick, which made Peter feel guilty about hiding Spider-Man from her. 

“Thanks Aunt May.” Peter returned the smile. “Dinner was delicious.” He stood, pitched the remainder of his lasagna, and then he put his plate in the sink. He would wash it later. 

He stepped into his bedroom and then sighed. The search for his birth father was exhausting. 

He sat down, opened his ratty old laptop, pulled up google and typed in, “I want to find my birth parents.” The first thing that popped up was an ad for ancestry, followed by ads for private adoption investigators, neither of which Peter could afford. 

He sighed, then he typed in “Massachusetts Adoption Records.” The first response was from Mass.gov, which was good. But the page only served to inform him that’d he’d only be allowed to access his adoption records with the permission of a judge and only if he had a good reason to. 

And so, he googled, “Why did my birth parents give me up?” He knew that not all situations were the same. But Peter was curious, did his father wonder about him like Peter wondered about his dad? Did his father celebrate Peter’s birthdays? Did his father keep Peter a secret from his friends and family? 

That particular search seemed to hit the jackpot, and he found quora and reddit forums with both birth parents and adoptees speaking from their experiences. 

There was a myriad of reasons that his father could have relinquished him for: finishing school, finances, abusive relationships, other children at the home, too young, not ready to be a parent, mental illness. The reasoning seemed endless. It could have been any one of those reasons, which meant that Peter was no closer to finding out the truth.

He huffed again, but he didn’t close his laptop. Instead, he clicked over to google docs. He had no idea what possessed him to do it, but he just started to type. 

Dear Biological Father, 

I’m sure you’ll probably never get to read this letter, but if you do, I just wanted to start off by saying hi. 

I know that’s cliche and everything, but I haven’t a clue what else to say. 

What do you say for someone you only saw for a literal minute 9 years ago?

I guess I should start by saying thank you. 

I got 6 awesome, fun years with my parents before they passed away. They were great. 

I don’t know why you relinquished me, but thank you for giving me a life that you didn’t think you could provide. 

I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for you to carry me for nine months and then hand me off to virtual strangers. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to be raised by my parents. 

My mom always said that I had your eyes, but I wonder what else I inherited from you. 

Both of my parents are good at science, but they’re biologists. I much prefer robotics and technology. Did I get that from you? 

I’ve always wondered where my nose and the shape of my lips came from. I wonder if you’re good at athletics (I was really bad at them until recent events). I just have so many questions about where I came from and about the two humans who contributed to my DNA. 

And speaking of DNA, I have something to tell you, because I might explode if I don’t tell someone. My DNA has been altered because...

I’m Spider-Man. 

And you know, writing, well typing, that out makes me realize how badly I wanted to, needed to, tell someone. 

I guess I kind of want to know how’d you’d feel about me being Spider-Man. I really want approval from someone, and I know my Aunt May would just panic and demand that I stop doing what I love. 

But I love being a superhero and being the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. I hope that you would be proud of me for trying to save lives. 

I know it’s dangerous, but it’s exhilarating and exciting, and most of all, it’s comforting, for me to be able to protect my community. 

I don’t know if you know this (you probably don’t) but I lost my uncle Ben six months this ago in an accident. Two weeks later, I was bitten by a radioactive spider during a spring break internship at Oscorp. I don’t think it was a coincidence. I believe that things happen for a reason, and I think that I got my powers in order to keep people safe.

I guess I feel like it’s my calling in life. 

Anyway, I hope things are going well in your life. I hope you got to follow your dreams, and I hope that you went far in life. I’m sure with a degree from MIT, you probably did whatever you put your mind to. 

I hope to meet you one day, and I think it’d be really cool to maybe become friends or something. 

All my love,  
Peter Benjamin Parker

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, it isn’t much 
> 
> Homecoming however, will be an explosion of emotion and feelings and angst and probably tears.


End file.
